i guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
by singsongsung
Summary: Dan/Serena/Nate. "Possibly, there's a mathematical improbability in there somewhere, but Dan is an English student."


**A/N:** A threesome seems like the logical solution at this point, doesn't it?

* * *

_I see you driving 'round town  
with the girl I love  
I'm like, "Fuck you."  
I guess the change in my  
pocket wasn't enough  
I'm like, "Fuck you.  
And, fuck her too."_

- Cee-Lo Green, _Fuck You_

* * *

So Serena picks Nate.

She picks Nate, and Dan can't help but find it terribly ironic, because the entire time he was with her he had this nagging fear, tucked at the very back of his mind, meant to be ignored – a fear that one day Serena would have some kind of epiphany and remember that Nate was her one true love or whatever, subsequently leaving Dan in the metaphorical dust. But this time, this one time, he'd tossed that thought away and let himself believe her (_for however long it takes_, she'd said, breathy and hesitant on his voicemail), so he'd believed her and he'd loved her.

Of course, this one time also happened to be the one time she realized Nate was her one true love.

Or whatever.

* * *

Even though she finally made her choice in this endless love triangle, whenever he sees her she gives him these sad looks with those unfairly blue eyes of hers.

And rubbing salt into his wounds – he has wounds, he does, and _damn_, it hurts like hell just to look at her – is the fact that Nate is always there, bringing her coffee and kissing her and touching her back and her waist and any other part of her body he can get his hands on.

Dan tries to hate them both, but he still loves her and Nate is so clueless and friendly all the time that it's fairly impossible.

* * *

To hate them would be exhausting, so Dan attempts happiness.

He reasons with himself: They're childhood sweethearts, kind of. Nate had a chance at Serena's heart long before Dan ever did. Their wedding will be the event of whatever season it happens in. Their kids will be freakishly cute.

Dan will get some cats. It'll be fine.

* * *

His little sister has no patience for his problems.

"Write a poem about it, Dan," she says, not unkindly, but the message is still loud and clear.

"Tell me about Hudson." He listens to her stories instead.

* * *

There are pictures of them on Gossip Girl all the time, streaming video too. He can deal with that.

At least, he can deal with it until the pictures that are posted the day of the first snowfall – Serena and Nate in all their blonde glory, heads poking out of the sunroof of a limo, hats and mittens on even though they're holding ice cream cones, kissing like it's what they're meant to do.

He's not proud of the way he reacts.

When he hangs up, he knows it was the most immature message he's ever left. He almost wants to take it back. But – it felt good.

* * *

Serena knocks on his door just before midnight.

"I know you're home, Humphrey!" There is an agitated note in her voice that he suspects he should be afraid of.

Vanessa, sitting on the couch, gives him a supremely unimpressed look.

He shrugs and pads over to the door in his sock feet to reveal Serena in too-big plaid pyjama pants and a peacoat, hair in a messy knot, not exactly what he'd been expecting.

"Hi," he blurts. She only stares at him, so he steps aside a little. "Come in?"

"Oh, so you _do_ have manners." The lilt of her voice is almost teasing, which can't be right. "You certainly didn't show that in the message you left me earlier."

Dan winces and closes the door behind her. "I'm sorry."

"Nate listened to it first."

He rubs a hand over his eyes. "Cute, he checks your messages for you. Now he probably wants to beat me up."

She walks into his room and he follows, watching her. She takes off her coat, drops it on the floor, and lets her hair down, so that it tumbles over her shoulders.

Then she says, "I wasn't fair to you."

He shuts the door, hiding them away. "Yeah – no, you weren't."

"I wanted you."

"You picked Nate." He feels defensive. "Actions and words, Serena."

Her gaze stays even, measured. "I wanted Nate, too," she admits. "I knew…I knew this would happen. It's not about choosing."

"What's it about, then?"

She sits down on his bed carefully, like it's not something she's done one thousand times before. "Do you love me?"

It catches him off guard – her soft voice and the abruptness of the question and the longing he feels. He melts, "Serena…"

"Do you? Because I love you. I do. I can't – I can't turn it off. I _tried_. All those times we broke up…no matter how many times we're over, I'm not over it."

"_Serena_." His heart is pounding.

"Dan."

She won't take her eyes off of him and it's like being sixteen all over again, _nobody's ever looked at me the way you just did_.

"Yes," he says, it's as simple as that.

And then they're kissing, her back against his mattress, her legs bent at the knees so that he can fit between them, his hands finding their way beneath her shirt. This is not like last time, not just a kiss or two.

But she has the same boyfriend she did then, and it occurs to him to point this out, but then she's whimpering into his mouth and the thought drifts away.

* * *

Dan wakes up with Nate's plaid pyjama pants on his floor and and Serena in his bed, naked save for his sheets over her skin.

Her fingers trace over the lines of his body. "Too early," she declares sleepily, adorably, "for such a mad face."

Words tangle in his throat, creating a knot he can't undo. "You – "

Her lips land against his, soft and coaxing.

"You have a boyfriend," he manages to protest, words muffled against her mouth.

She kisses a path down his chest and his hands slip into her hair of their own volition; when she says _shh_, he obeys her.

* * *

Evening: she texts him.

_come over._

His feet take him there, guided by his heart – his brain has no say in the matter.

* * *

"Oh, hey," Nate says easily when he opens the door of the apartment he's now sharing with Serena, "Fuck you, too."

Dan grimaces, shifting his weight awkwardly from foot to foot. "That message wasn't meant for you to hear."

Nate gives him a knowing look. "Yeah, it was."

Dan has nothing to say to that, mostly because it's true, but also because _Nate_, of all people, just looked at him _knowingly._ "Serena asked me to come over."

At that, Nate looks baffled, and the world straightens out a bit. "She's in class."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, six to seven-thirty."

"Oh. But she just – " He glances at his phone. "She told me to come over."

"Oh." Nate blinks.

"Yeah."

They stand there for a moment, at a strange impasse, and then Nate swings the door open wider, offers, "Look, man, do you want to come in?"

He feels guilty. "I…I slept with her last night."

A shadow flickers through Nate's eyes. "I figured," he says lowly.

Dan nods. "I don't…I don't get what kind of game she's playing."

Nate's lips twitch into a tiny smile. "Serena doesn't play games, dude." He claps Dan on the shoulder. "Come on. Come in. Have a beer. Or several beer," he chuckles.

* * *

It doesn't take long for the two of them to get mildly drunk, just drunk enough to relax.

"Remember when we agreed to stay away from her?"

Nate snorts. "Stupid."

"Impossible."

"Totally impossible."

"Do you think…" Dan finishes his beer and sets the bottle down heavily. "Do you think she wants us to…to share her?"

They share a long, silent look.

"Impossible," Nate mutters.

Dan agrees: "Stupid."

"_Totally_ stupid."

Nate's gaze is far away. "I really love her."

"I know." He does know.

"It feels like…like fuckin' magic when I'm around her."

Dan looks at Nate, at his sad eyes and his possibly-unrequited love, and he feels a surge of total understanding. "Yeah. It's like…" He doesn't know what it's like, he can't find the right word, the right metaphor, the right way to say it out loud.

Then, out of the blue, Nate leans across the empty beer bottles lined up on the floor, and crushes his mouth against Dan's.

"Like that," he announces, breathless and wide-eyed when he leans away again.

"Yeah." Dan can't help but agree, even as he feels Nate's stunned expression reflected on his own face. "Exactly like that."

* * *

When Serena walks through the door, Nate jumps up like he's attached to a puppeteer's strings, rushing over and picking her up with the force of his hug.

"Natie," she laughs, but he kisses her before she can say anything more. His hands roam over her body, her waist up to the swell of her breasts, her back down to her ass. Serena's hands clench around the fabric of his shirt, and when Nate presses kisses down the column of her neck, her lashes flutter and her eyes open and she looks straight at Dan.

He's only slightly drunk, but that is still drunk enough that he can be honest with himself about the fact that watching them turns him on.

Nate backs Serena into the counter, hooks his hands under her knees and lifts her up to sit on top of it. "God, I love you," he says, his forehead pressed to hers.

"I love you, too," she says softly, and Dan can hear it in her voice, she's telling the truth.

"Baby," he murmurs, one of his hands slipping beneath her skirt.

A moment later she gasps, eyes falling shut. "_Oh._" And then her eyes fly open again and she glances toward him, says softly, "Dan."

It startles him – he thought they'd forgotten him – but what really shocks him is the way Nate smoothes Serena's hair out of her face, kisses her cheek, and then looks at Dan and inclines his head like _get over here._

So he does, he gets up and shuffles over to them; as soon as he's close enough, Serena reaches out and takes his hand.

Nate pushes her skirt further up her hips. "You can touch her," he says gruffly.

Still, Dan feels compelled to look at Serena for permission – but her head is tipped back against the cupboards, she's taking small, quick breaths as Nate's hand moves between her thighs. Gently, Dan tugs one of the sleeves of her soft gray shirt downward until he exposes one of her breasts; she's not wearing a bra and that's such a _Serena_ thing to do that it gives him a surge of confidence.

He palms her breast and leans in to ghost his lips over hers; she's too distracted to really kiss him back properly. When she moans he can feel it reverberate through his mouth and the rest of his body.

"That's it," Nate says, a smile audible in those two words.

She cries out, an indistinct sound, and Nate watches her appreciatively as she comes, trailing kisses down the side of her face while Dan lowers his mouth to her chest. She arches into the touch, threading her fingers into his hair, her nails digging into his scalp.

"Good?" Nate asks, kissing her.

"Mm," she breathes as Nate slowly pulls his hand away and pushes her thong all the way down her legs so that she can kick it off her ankles. She moves her hand from Dan's hair to his neck, runs it down his torso until she's touching him through his jeans.

* * *

They get him off on the kitchen floor, Nate's hand and Serena's mouth, Dan's back against the tiles.

* * *

"S," Nate says against Dan's shoulder, thick and a little desperate.

"I know," she says gently, licking her lips. She kisses Dan's cheek and tugs at his earlobe with her teeth. "Take his pants off for me," she whispers.

He does, unbuttons and unzips, and Nate groans when Serena insists cheekily, "Boxers too…"

She crawls over Dan and sinks onto Nate, her hands against his chest as he hisses, "Christ, baby."

Serena giggles softly and leans down to kiss him deeply. Dan watches them, experimentally skimming his hand up Serena's thigh and under her skirt, rubbing his thumb in small circles against her hip.

Nate's hand lands on top of his, fingers digging in. Dan sits up a bit, kisses Serena's neck and when Nate's orgasm hits he murmurs, "Come for me," and nips at her skin while Nate groans out her name.

* * *

Serena lies between them on the kitchen floor. Nate has her shirt rucked up and his fingers splayed over her stomach, tracing patterns around her belly-button. Dan has wondered if he should leave, but Serena's got her knuckles against his cheek and a moment ago she tilted her face to his for a kiss, and besides, his feet are all tangled with Nate's.

* * *

There are things he could say.

Surreal as this has been – _awesome_ as this has been – it can't last forever. Dan could write the great American novel based on all the experiences Nate and Serena have introduced to his life since he first met them, but this is not going to last the rest of his life – she can't honestly expect them to share her.

Except she's sucking on his lower lip, saying, "_Dan_," and he forgets all of that.

He smiles lazily at her. "Can I help you?"

"_Can_ you?" she asks with smirky lips.

He touches his thumb to her mouth. "You're beautiful," he tells her.

Nate cups her chin in his hand, turning her face toward his and kissing her nose, "You are," he agrees. His eyes are an especially dark blue.

Dan can't stop touching her. He lays careful kisses across her jaw, tasting the thin sheen of sweat over her skin. He goes for her mouth just as Nate does, and Serena ducks out of the way so they kiss instead, slow and exploring. Nate tastes like Serena's lip gloss and something distinctly _Nate_-ish, and Dan finds that he likes it.

With one hand, Nate is busy teasing at Serena's nipple until a hard peak is visible through her shirt, while his other hand touches Dan's neck and shoulder tentatively. Dan presses a steadying hand against Nate's chest, feeling the thrum of his heartbeat, and he rolls toward Serena a bit more. At which point, she must feel him hard against her thigh, because she grabs a handful of his shirt and lets out this breathy moan that tears a groan from the back of Nate's throat.

Serena's cheeks are flushed and her eyes are glassy and she gasps, "_Please_," when they break their kiss and look at her.

"What do you want, baby?" Nate asks her gently.

Dan knows. "Nate," he says.

The other boy looks at him and grins.

* * *

It's a mess, really, Nate's hand around him and his hand around Nate, both trying to hit the right rhythm and Serena, pushing both of their shirts off in the midst of it. But they figure it out, and Nate bites lightly at her neck while Dan whispers to her, incoherent words around _I love you_s as her hips cant upward of their own accord.

Nate knows what he's doing and Dan finishes first, Nate's free hand gripping Dan's wrist like a vice to remind him that _he's_ not done yet.

"God, Nate," he mutters, teeth clenched.

Serena helps, whispers into Nate's ear that send him over the edge. He moans Dan's name and then Serena keeps whispering until he gasps, "_S,_" and digs his teeth into her shoulder.

* * *

Once they catch their breath they turn back to Serena; nearly all of her skin is flushed a pale pink now and she reacts to every touch, including the trail of kisses Nate leaves between her breasts, which have her a hooking a leg around his hip that he gently sets back on the floor.

"Natie," she protests, lashes fluttering.

"Shh," he soothes, bumping his nose against hers. "Kiss me, babe."

She does, arching against the floor, and Dan picks up one of her hands, kisses her palm gently while he waits.

"Please," Serena gasps, her voice tight.

"Shh," Nate says again, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Just kiss me."

"I need…" she whispers, just before Nate gives her the gentlest of kisses, soft and sweet. He moves to kiss her neck, tongue laving over the bites her made earlier. Serena's eyes stay closed but Nate's open, and he gives Dan a tiny, affirmative nod.

Dan kisses her palm again and laces his fingers through hers. He places a featherlight kiss on her lips. "Serena," he murmurs, to get her attention. "Baby, what do you need?"

Her eyes fly open, clashing with his, sending a pulse of want for her through his entire body.

Nate's tongue is circling her nipple now and her hips lift off the floor. "_You_," she says.

And then Nate takes over her mouth again, their tongues dueling, so Dan pays attention to her neck, to the valley of her breasts, to her stomach where her abs tighten at his touch. He spends a moment at her belly button and then just below it until she whimpers, her heels digging against the floor.

He kisses her calves and her thighs, all her muscles tight and shaking, and when his mouth finally lands between her legs he hears her gasp, "_Yes._"

"Sweetheart," he hears Nate murmur, but Dan knows that he has most of her attention now, teasing her with his lips and fingers.

He does that until she makes a sound that's close to a sob. He glances up, sees that Nate's fingers are playing gently over her body; Nate looks at him and says, quietly, "Let her."

Dan does, and her fingers clench in his hair, knuckles hard against his skull. She murmurs things as she comes, but her thighs are by his ears and Dan can't quite hear it all – he only catches his name, and Nate's, and _oh_.

* * *

He licks her before he lifts his head, hands caressing her thighs gently. Her head is resting back against the floor and Nate is leaning over her, letting her catch her breath between soft kisses. Dan moves to lay over her, careful to support his weight on his arm, settling between her legs.

She lifts a hand and runs it down his back, arches her eyebrows lazily at him. "Oh," she says again, and he smiles at her.

He kisses Nate, tongues delving into each other's mouths, lets him taste Serena. Then he kisses her, lips closing gently over each other's.

"Love you," she breathes.

"And I you," he promises her, feeling her toes skim up his calf.

Nate bumps in with his nose. "And me," he prods teasingly.

"And you," Dan chuckles quietly, rolling off of Serena as she stamps a kiss onto Nate's cheek and murmurs something that sounds like, "Always."

Dan looks at the ceiling, at the fluorescent lights – he wonders what time it is.

* * *

They kiss for a while, the three of them.

"We can't," Dan says against Nate's mouth, and then Serena's there, sipping at his lips, "do this forever."

"Dan." Serena pouts, sliding her hand down his abdomen, purposefully stopping just shy of where he wants her to go.

"He's right, S." Nate stretches out his limbs. "I vote we move to the bedroom. Comfier."

That's not what Dan meant, and he knows they both know it, but –

But Serena. _Serena._ He's written countless drafts of a poem with that title, and here she is, stretched out naked next to him, loving him and willing to let him love her, as long as Nate can be loved too. And the way she loves Nate is palpable, is _necessary_, is exactly the same – Nate can love her if he'll let Dan be loved. Nate is…so friendly, and undeniably good-looking, and he gives good hands jobs, but the point is that Nate loves Serena the way Dan loves Serena, so maybe they could learn to love each other that way, too, or at least…enough.

Possibly, there's a mathematical improbability in there somewhere, but Dan is an English student.

* * *

"Bed?" Serena asks him.

He slips his hand into her hand and sighs. "You…are too persuasive for your own good."

She giggles. "I'm not _done_ with you yet."

Nate leans over her, matching her smile with one of his own. "I'm not either."

Dan smiles, too, in spite of himself.

And then Serena giggles quietly; Nate's fingers go right to her ribcage, tickling, like he wants to keep her laughing. "Oh my god," she says, and Dan can hear it, the way her laughter morphs into something unstoppable.

"What?" Nate asks, bumping his nose against her cheek. "What are you giggling about?"

"Just…" She tries to wiggle away from Nate's fingers, gives him a bright smile that she turns to Dan a moment later, "Fuck _you_," she says, and then she dissolves into giggles again.

Nate cracks up, too, repeats, "Fuck you," breathlessly as if it's the funniest thing he's ever heard, one arm slung around Serena, his laughter muffled against her neck.

Dan rolls his eyes and presses a kiss against Serena's mouth, stifling her laughter. "Fuck you?" he asks lowly, his lips lingering against hers. "My pleasure."

* * *

**fin**


End file.
